The way they do it
by Not Just a Nerd
Summary: Jane's behavior gets Lisbon suspended, and now he's trying to apologize and make things right. Of course, it can only mean more bickering and more trouble. JANE/LISBON. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist **

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><p>Okay, he'll admit, he's messed up big time this time, this isn't <em>exactly<em> how he thought it would play out, this isn't how it was supposed to be.

Sure, they caught the killer, sure, the case is closed, but here's the problem: He wasn't counting on the guy he called ugly to have enough juice to make Hightower suspend Lisbon. And now Hightower has suspended Lisbon. Again. And it's completely his fault. Again. Even he can't deny that.

"Look on the bright side Lisbon, now you can stay at home and do all the things that you have been procrastinating", he tells her, trying to show her the silver lining instead of the dark clouds, giving her a bright smile that he decides is the right amount of sympathetic. The last thing he wants to do is end up looking like he pities her.

Actually, right now, the only one who _needs_ pity is him, from her wrath. And this fact is confirmed when she just shoots him a deadly glare and storms away, not saying a single word. So, like he said, this time he has messed up big time. He'd be lucky if she ever talks to him again in the next two weeks!

"Ouch, that looks bad, man", Rigsby comments from the side, looking at him with one eyebrow raised. He's grinning, like he is enjoying the show, and Jane can't really blame him for that. The cases have been so simple lately; his bantering with Lisbon has become the latest entertainment for his colleagues. "You better do something to make it up to her." Rigsby comments, shooting him another grin.

"Aren't you going to follow her?" Cho questions, not looking up from the file that he's arranging. Lisbon gone and he in charge only means Jane causing trouble for him, and the look on his face betrays this exasperation.

"Should I?" Jane counters, shoving one hand inside his pocket and casually leaning against the wall, "See, she's mad at me. If I follow her, I'll only make it worse."

Rigsby shakes his head in defeat and sighs, that 'you know nothing about women' look on his face again, even though he's a man without a girlfriend, just like Jane. "You should at least apologize, you know?"

"What for?" Jane grins, and he is out of their sight before anyone can point out that this is his freaking fault.

Okay, so he'll admit that it is, and that he does need to apologize. The thing is, he hasn't really done this before, and he has no idea _how_ to do it. More importantly, what if it makes her madder and she ends up giving him the punch that she promised?

Nah! He can do it the way they do it, only better, perfectly, and with more grace, pun intended.

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><p>He fiddles with his phone for almost half an hour. Texting her will make it look like he doesn't care enough, like he isn't sincere enough, and calling her will make him look desperate. If there's nothing in between these two extremes, he'd rather call and leave a short message.<p>

"Hey Lisbon, it's Jane. Call me back when you get this, please? I really need your help with-"

He cuts off there, grinning. He knows that will make her curious enough to call, even though she'd know that he's playing a mind game. He didn't want to do this, but he doesn't really have a choice. She hasn't been answering his calls, and hasn't been calling him back despite the sixteen odd messages that he left at her voicemail in two hours. Yes, he's called her that many times since he took the decision to call.

Two more hours pass, during which he keeps mumbling "patience" to himself, and discovers how it only makes him more impatient. When his phone still doesn't ring, he knows her enough to know that she's not going to call him back.

Ouch. Okay, so she really is really mad. Maybe he _does_ need to do something to make things right then?

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><p>It's amazing how nervous he is and how he is analyzing every little move. He knocks instead of ringing the door-bell, because let's face it, her doll-bell is way too loud, and if she's sleeping and it wakes her up, well, his face is going to look a <em>little <em>different when he goes back home. He knocks three times with two knuckles, loud enough for her to hear from any part of the house, and waits for her to answer. He can always break in if she doesn't….

She doesn't ask who it is, she doesn't take a peek; she just swings the door wide open with such a force that it makes him take two steps back.

"Hey Lisbon", he smiles at her, as brightly as possible. The look on her face is kind of scary, her eyes remind him of all those paintings of hellfire, and it makes his throat so dry that he wants to lick his lips. And maybe run away?

She just crosses her arms over her chest, and drops her chin so low that it almost touches her collarbone, and keeps glaring at him, one lip worried between her teeth. "What?"

He blinks, he swallows, and he shakes his head. She rolls her eyes, glares harder, and rolls her head again. And then she steps back in, about to close the door.

He steps forward quickly though, holding the door open with his hands from the outside. "Lisbon, I'm sorry about this. I know it's horrible. Please don't be mad."

She blinks in shock, surprised to see that he is actually apologizing to her about something, and she even grants him a nod of her head as acknowledgement.

But she's still mad. She has every right to be. This is a two-week suspension, her second suspension in the year, which is a permanent black mark in her otherwise fabulous career, and she could have easily avoided it if only Jane had taken sweet mercy on her and had been a just little polite for thirty freaking seconds of his life! Gosh, she's still fuming!

She slams the door closed all the way, right in his face, leaving him standing outside, all alone. A few more inches, and the door would have done her the favor of punching his nose.

This, however, fails to dampen his spirits. He knocks again, and keeps knocking- how long can she ignore him and keep him standing there?

Three hours- that's how long. See, it's not about Lisbon now, or at least that's what he's telling himself. This is pride now- he's grow more stubborn, he doesn't want to step an inch away from that door till she opens it.

But of course there's a problem- her nosy neighbors are now pretending to check their mail and glancing at him every five minutes, and from the smiles they are sending his way, he knows that they think he's her boyfriend, waiting outside her house, begging her to take him back.

He smiles back awkwardly at them, not wanting to be rude- since his rudeness is what got him here in the first place, and finally leaves before they assume that their assumption is reality. If they question Lisbon about him, _oh boy would he be in trouble with her_!

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><p>He decides not to call the next day- he figures she'd feel guilty now about ignoring him the other day, guilty enough to consider forgiving him, so he goes to her house straight ahead.<p>

When she opens the door, suspecting very well that it is Jane, all she can see is a man's head and torso being covered by a giant bouquet of flower.

She can't fight back her laugh, she just can't. She wasn't expecting _this_, and the sight of Jane's legs extending from below a bouquet of white roses- hilarious enough to be her cell phone wallpaper. "Jane, what is this all about?"

He pulls the bouquet down from his face, puts it to his side, and smiles. "White, symbolizing peace. It's my way of telling you that I really am sorry, and making sure that you don't stay mad at me, and we call it even." He says sincerely, the honesty shining in his eyes.

She shakes her head in amusement, takes the bouquet from him, admires it with her eyes for a moment, and smiles. "Well, I'll invite you in, but I don't want you to cause more trouble for me." She says playfully, still smiling.

His smile grows wider, and he feels himself sighing in relief. "Does this mean we're cool? You're forgiving me?"

And just when she opens her mouth and is about to say yes, her neighbor comes out, notices Jane, recognizes him, gives her a sly grin, a suggestive wink, and a thumbs up, before stepping back in.

Her mouth stays open. In shock.

Jane winces when he sees the look on her face. He can almost see the gears within her head turning. He has a pretty good idea what, or rather who, she might have seen, and what might have happened. This isn't looking good for him at all, is it? Damn. Silly of him to think that her neighbors would know her well enough to stay away from stepping into her personal life!

"Jane? What is going on?" she demands angrily, a hard frown on her face, and her glare looking fatal. Her tone has now changed to accusing, and he really is considering running away.

"I didn't talk to her, I promise. I didn't say a single word! You can ask her if you want." He defends himself, trying his best to look honest, since he _is _being honest.

She just takes in deep breaths, her chest falling up and down, while she tries to pierce him with her eyes, a kind of "I hope you'll think about this when you get home and realize what you did wrong" vibe emanating from her. She slams the door in his face again, this time with more force, and more anger.

So he came here to make sure she wasn't mad, and he only managed to make her madder. This is exactly what he thought would happen, exactly what he told Rigsby. He should really stop listening to people for even that one rare time.

Huh, well, she still kept the bouquet. That's a plus, right?

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><p>There's a possibility that he is going to be visiting her house during the whole two weeks of her suspension. It makes him sigh as he knocks on her door on the third day. Not that he minds terribly, but only if she wasn't mad at him.<p>

She answers almost instantly, like she was expecting him- well, he did come here at the same time every day- and starts barking at him right away. "What Jane? What do you want?"

He knows it's the worst thing to begin with, but he can't help it. "Did she ask you about me?"

She opens her mouth to yell about the "is he your boyfriend", "Well, he should be, he's good", and all the other unwanted useless advice that she had to endure, for three full minutes no less before she could make an excuse and get away, but for some reason, she stops herself before she does. "No." she says instead, her tone still gruff.

"Then I didn't cause any trouble", he says, grinning victoriously. He knows she's lying, but hey, he has her where he wants her, so he'll take it.

Her frown grows into a full scowl when she realizes that she just let him win this round, and she lets herself heave a sigh. "I told you before Jane, we caught the bad guys; on most days, that's enough…."

"But not today", he completes for her, heaving a sigh himself. Women are way too complicated for even him to understand, he decides, vowing not to mess with them again. Of course he knows that a vow like that can only last around thirty seconds. "So… you liked the bouquet?" He asks, deciding to change the subject into something more cheerful.

She shrugs, eyeing him with a glint of amused curiosity in her eyes. "Yeah, but why did you suddenly bring me flowers?"

He mimics her shrug, and smiles. "I don't really know how to say sorry. I'm doing it the way they do it."

She can't help the snort. "And who are _they_?"

"You know", his shoulders lift up in a half-shrug, "Kids, high-schoolers." Another half-shrug. "Rigsby."

A light chuckle escapes her lips. The thought of Jane going to them for advice…. is kind of cute. "Bye Jane." She smiles, closing the door.

He stands still for two minutes, just staring at the door, trying to decide if she forgave him yet.

She didn't, did she? Why can't any thing other than puzzles and riddles and finding killers ever be easy?

She isn't really mad anymore, he knows it. He knows she's just doing this to try to teach him a lesson, hoping that maybe he'd change.

Yeah, sure, whatever. It's a democratic country, one can always hope.

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><p>He knocks on her door again the next day.<p>

She opens it, this time with a smile etched on her face. Today, she is dressed in more casual clothes, so he realized that she is happy today. That's always a good sign.

He decides it's safe. So he holds up the movie tickets in front of her, "Wanna join me?"

She narrows her eyes for a moment, studying the tickets in his hand. Now here's one move that she wasn't expecting. A ticket for the new movie starring her favorite actor-how in the world did he even know this? She feels herself getting excited, little a little child. Oh, but if she agrees, Jane will win. And he'll be rude again, and she'll get suspended again. "I'm sorry, Jane, but I can't go."

"Sure you can", he persists, fixing her with a charming grin. "You're suspended, Teresa, not grounded."

She hisses darkly at the bitter s-word, her eyebrows twitching with irritation. "No, I meant, I already have work to do today."

"Ah, but it's not today, it's for tomorrow", he announces, breaking into a victorious grin, and while she is distracted by it, he switches the tickets in his hand with the other ones that he had bought expecting a situation like this. "See", he says, holding the new tickets closer to her face for her to see. "Now you can't make up an excuse and say no."

She shakes her head at him in amusement. "You just won't go away till I say that I forgive you, isn't it Jane?"

He shrugs, tilting his head to a side with a nod. He won't go away even if she says that, and he knows she knows that.

"Fine, I forgive you Jane", she says softly, but with resolution in her voice. "But this is the last time. I hope you've learnt your lesson."

He only grins wider, not answering her. He understands it's only rhetorical. "Are you still up for the movie? I don't see any reason why you can't go if you're not mad at me anymore…"

She shakes her head in a 'he'll never change' gesture, and nods. "See you tomorrow then."

The door closes in his face again, but okay, this time, softly, and this time, he's not in a big mess. This time, he did it the way they do it, and may he add, perfectly?

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><p><strong>Two months later: <strong>

Okay, he'll admit, he's messed up big time this time, this isn't _exactly_ how he thought it would play out, this isn't how it was supposed to be…..

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><p><strong>AN: Just an idea that popped in my head, thought this would be fun. Hope you enjoyed reading it. All comments and constructive criticism are welcome :) **


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